Politics And Pasta: A Parody

Frustrated with politics? Join the party! (Oops, bad choice of words.)

Let’s start by acknowledging the elephant, and donkey, in the room. A two-party system doesn’t create a healthy political environment; it creates a mentality of “me” versus “you”, “us” versus “them”. A divisive power game where one is a winner, and one is a loser. And it has always been wrought with challenges. Even the great George Washington once stated, “The common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.”

To put the ridiculousness of the two parties in perspective, I’ve compared them to pasta. Yes, wonderful, delicious pasta.

Here are your Pasta Parties.

Lasagna Party pitch:
We are Lasagna! And oh are we delicious. We believe in (hyperbole), and fight against (inflamed jargon). Honestly, Lasagna just tastes so much better than spaghetti, we all know this! It’s healthier too, in every single way. We’re obviously the best pasta there is, and if you disagree then you’re wrong and clearly have bad taste. We advise that you only listen to and watch certain media that bend to our way of thinking. Everything else is completely false and full of knee-jerks. We will continuously bait you with certain words and phrases that get you angry and keep you close-minded. Everyone in the Spaghetti Party is evil. STAY AWAY! They don’t believe in layers like we do. In fact, they’re anti-layers. Yes, that’s it! They are anti-delicious. Don’t be like them, be like us! Lasagna is the best pasta, nay, the best food that has ever been created. And we always will be, no matter what. Join our party because we want more power! Down with Spaghetti! Vote Lasagna!

Spaghetti Party pitch:
We are Spaghetti! And oh are we scrumptious. We believe in (hyperbole), and fight against (inflamed jargon). Honestly, Spaghetti just tastes so much better than lasagna, and you know it! It’s healthier too, in every single way. We’re obviously the best pasta there is, and if you disagree then you’re wrong and clearly have bad taste. We advise that you only listen to and watch certain media that bend to our way of thinking. Everything else is completely false and full of knee-jerks. We will continuously bait you with certain words and phrases that get you angry and keep you close-minded. Everyone in the Lasgnia Party is evil. KEEP AWAY! They don’t believe in long noodles like we do. In fact, they’re anti-long noodles. Yes, that’s it! They are anti-delicious. Don’t be like them, be like us! Spaghetti is the best pasta, nay, the best food that has ever been created. And we always will be, no matter what. Join our party because we want more power! Down with Lasagna! Vote Spaghetti!

This may seem ridiculous because we’re talking about pasta. But these are the messages given to us by the Republican and Democratic parties when in reality, both have good and bad qualities. So often it’s not about the difference in policies but the corrupt, self-serving behavior and desire for power that keeps them (and their devout leaders and members) from making positive changes for Americans. Honesty, transparency, and humility are rarely found in politics. Think about it: a party gains a lot of ground when you hate the other party.

At the end of the day, both spaghetti and lasagna are delicious, at least to me. But they’re different, made of up different ingredients, they’re cooked differently, and they definitely look different. It doesn’t mean that one is best–some simply like one more than another, or both, or neither. And both of these dishes can be made differently, depending on who makes them. But why stop here? Fettucini is fantastic. Let’s bring ravioli to the table! Macaroni, linguini, tortellini…let’s discover what every dish has to offer, and stop limiting our palate to just one pasta.

Let’s bring all types of pasta to the table. Why limit ourselves?

A husband and wife team exploring the topics we are passionate about, both individually and together.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store